The Listenary

Who hasn't at some time been told, "Now don't be selfish"?

What was the message you received from that admonition? If you received it repeatedly, then you probably have an internal voice that automatically labels certain things selfish. I eventually came to great confusion over conflicting messages I received around the word "selfishness."

So, by the grace of God, I confronted that internal voice and have spent many years evaluating what I truly believe is selfish. Recently I read an old book that helped me to get all this evaluation out on paper, The Art of Selfishness, by David Seabury (New Yordk, NY: Simon and Schuster, 1964).

Try out these pieces of my clarification

*I believe that what is best for me will not truly harm others; selfishness would seek to win at the expense of others.

*I believe my only duty is to do the best I can; a false unselfishness might think of anyone's duty but one's own.

*I allow myself time to think, to decide, and to develop; a false unselfishness might "deny self" or "do good" and then talk alot about it.

*I state my choices and do my actions with a smile; a false unselfishness might require from others or give for myself endless explanations of my choices.

*I protect and foster my own inherited abilities; a false unselfishness might decide or think I know another person's abilities.

*I commit to never stop growing and expanding; selfishness never stops asking, "What's in it for me?"

*I believe that the right of choice is always mine; selfishness might talk alot about "claiming" my rights.

*I refuse and ignore all coercion; a false unselfishness might to do "self-sacrifice" while remaining possessive.

*I protect always my uncompromised YES to God; a false unselfishness might say YES to too many "good" projects.