The Listenary

I spent quite a few articles on making I-statements under pressure, and turning questions in to I-statements, and giving advice in the form of I-statements. You can access all these by clicking here or on Basics in Communication in the main menu.

Let us remind ourselves now of the two keys to communication:

First key, Listen More.

Second key, Say "I."

Now I will turn those two keys into three kinds of language that are important for good communication.

First: I-language for deep clarity and honesty.

Second: Eye-language for connecting through non-verbals.

Third: Aye-language. That's the old word for YES. Using Aye-language, or a YES attitude opens the channels of communication.

And here are three results of poor communication that make communication very SAD.

S - Stress. My next article will give some simple ways to deal quite immediately and one-the-spot with stress.

A - Anger. The I-statement formula given here is meant to deal with anger.

D - Defensiveness. I-statements are meant to diffuse defensiveness.

So for now, you can simply remember you want to use I, Eye, and Aye language and you want to diffuse, or avoid arousing, Stress, Anger, or Defensiveness.